Stop being busy; be busy just being
<=By Jacinta Lis MMFM Event Manager=>
I have made a conscious decision to slow my life down. To make more time to do the things that make me happy and bring light to my soul …. Sounds awfully self indulgent doesn’t it?
But ask yourself this, how often do you catch yourself saying ‘I’d love to be doing that but I just don’t have the time right now’ or ‘I’ll get to it later.’ We’ve become a fast paced, no nonsense society that is continously hustling to tick boxes off the ever growing checklist and where taking time out for ourselves is becoming a rare and precious commodity.
Time itself is a luxury of which so many of us seek but these days can rarely afford. We work harder, faster and longer than we ever have before. Yet for most, our hearts are pleading with us to slow down, get back to basics or to lead a simpler way of life. Unfortunately it’s a luxury we can’t all afford, and often we leave it too late to realise that we had taken the important things we had for granted.
For me this pursuit for time has come at a price. I have given up my job, moved back in with my parents and basically given myself the grown up version of a ‘time out’ from my life. Like a disobedient child I was reluctant at first, having my little spats, fighting it and resisting the change. It wasn’t pretty. After much coaxing and a 3 day bender of pj’s, popcorn and dvds, I began to come to terms with my transition. The process of slowing down is far from instinctive and not always as simple as it sounds.
Thankfully for me the people who love me encouraged me to stop, relax and breathe. Just breathe. The decision for transformation didn’t just happen overnight, there were many sleepless nights, tearful phone calls and a series of events that were pointing out to me the truths that I didnt want to acknowledge. As I would lay in the dark each morning trying to motivate myself to be positive about starting my day, reassuring myself it’ll be alright ‘once I get going’, from my inner depths a little voice would point out unequivocally ‘Yes you will be ok, but you’re not happy.’ I tried to silence it, ignore it and keep myself busy to try and distract from those little words that were haunting me from the depths.
But the thing is when you don’t listen to your authentic self your inner voice will only give you so many warnings, then its starts to fight dirty. Ignoring your insitincts often leads to fatigue, illness and in my case depression and anxiety. I have been down that dark road before and the signs of its return were becoming too frequent and severe to ignore. I had to make a decision. Do I stay in my present life that provides me with stability, pays the bills and gives me the comfort of routine and familiarity? Or do I take a risk, leap out of my comfort zone into the unknown, opening myself up to the possibilities of failure and uncertainty?
The first option made me feel sick with defeat, the second also made me feel sick, but there was a second wind of excitement that followed. So I am giving in. For the first time in a long time I am experiencing a new form of freedom. It both terrifies and excites me. There is nothing holding me down or holding me back and it is surreal. My life is in a state of transitional buoyancy. I don’t have all the answers yet, and quite frankly I am in no rush to. That’s the thing about my new pursuit, I am throwing out the ‘shoulds’ and replacing them with how does this serve me right now? Is it right for me? I encourage you to do the same.
I am not saying to do anything drastic like quit your job or move back in with your olds; but the next time you catch yourself questioning the pace of your life ask yourself this, are you truly happy? And when was the last time you were busy just being? Is your life filling you up so that you are brimming with light or is it time to make a change?